Thursday, May 4, 2017

May the Fourth: An Out of This World Birthday

"May the Fourth Be With You. "
I was dreading it. All the Star Wars freaks and geeks flooding my News Feeds with their personal twist on Star Wars Day. No, I'm not a Star Wars hater. Actually, like it a lot. Star Trek, different story. It takes a special sort of Space Geek to dig Star Trek. But Star Wars...Sure, I can get with that.
One of my favorite 5 year old hairstyles was Princess Leia space buns. I have friends that can still ROCK that Out of this World awesome look!

No, my issue with it is I don't get to send my Mom a text with some cheesy version of, "May the 4th be your best birthday, yet!" And she says back, "What now??"

And I call her and helplessly try to explain to her (not exactly the Space Geek type) it's a play on a popular pun. You, know... May the Force Be With You, from Star Wars? Well it's May the 4th? Get it? May the 4th be with you? And it's your birthday! So, May the 4th be an out of this world birthday! 

Well, this year it certainly is an out of this world birthday. It's in a freaking galaxy far, far away...And, sure, I know she is having a Blast. Celebrations: Her Signature Trademark! Yet, I'm left here longing for the time that was snatched away from us. That zoomed by at the speed of hyperspace. And I'm left wishing for the tender days of yesteryear for her to swoop my long, black hair into Leila space buns. Ugh...Just ugh.

And this in particular May the Fourth was to be a SUPER SPECIAL one of Galactic proportions! Mom was turning the BIG 6-0! We had made a sorta pact that we would do New York City for DeDe's 60th birthday. Mom, me, Cherry, Chloe and we were going to see if her sisters and their daughters wanted to go, too. Was going to be a DeDe's 60th & Chloe's Sweet 16 Trip of a Life Time! Good times, ahead!

But, alas, the Dark Side overcame our sweet DeDe. She poured out herself for others.  Leaving nothing to sustain herself. She fought the good fight until there was simply nothing left to give. God rest her sweet soul.

During this past Easter these hauntingly telling pictures popped up on my Time Hop and I was completely floored. Like breath knocked out of me floored. How did we not SEE this? My sweet Mama looked absolutely miserable. So unsettled. So, doing everything she can to hang on. So overcome. I remember saying something rude that day like, "Mom, can't you just smile!?"

Well, no, she couldn't just smile. She was so low.  So overcome by the darkness.  So sad. So worried.  So everything that she just couldn't stand to be in this world not one more breath.

Not one more Thanksgiving. Christmas. Easter.  or May the Fourth. She couldn't take one more moment of this world.

If you are reading this and you have even a tiny concern about someone: Please, don't be afraid. Or second guess yourself. Or feel like you are over-reacting. Reach out to them and try to get them the help they need: Counseling, medication, a support group. Tell them you care. You are there for them. You love them.

Don't wait. Till you can no longer say,
 "May the 4th Be With You." 
"And Also With You." 







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