Monday, August 24, 2015

I Hope You Have the Time of Your Life

Anyone that knows my mom even remotely well has fallen victim to this look. It's classic Debbie. Apparently, it's becoming classic MJ.  My sister snapped this picture of me at my little cousin, Meghan's, wedding. A beautiful celebration on Beauvoir's front porch that mom and I had chatted about, texted about, debated how to best decorate, yet, were looking forward to helping orchestrate all the same. Mom was there in spirit, but gravely absent in the body. She's been absent from a lot lately, and there's no words to describe the gut check, hole in our family, and deep ache in my heart.
                                                                                        
And I wish more than anything, I could just turn back the clock.
                   
Turn it back to the last weekend she was with me. She had come in town to cheer on Chloe at the OSMS pageant. We had a great time getting Chloe all dolled up. But by the end of the evening, I was exhausted from the whirlwind of getting lil Miss Thang ready. I had Sunday morning and all my responsibilities staring at me. So when mom suggested, "Hey, you want to go get some appetizers. Just you and I?"  I blew her off.

 "I'm too tired, mom. I gotta be up so early."

If I had only known that would have been our Last Supper together, I would have gone come hell or high-water.

Time is a funny thing. It is our greatest commodity.

One that can never be replenished, yet we spend it like we have an endless supply, and we waste it on the frivolous, stupid stuff. Like, the 7 hour a day average screen time. You can read more about that in a previous post here --->"Life Hacks that will have you Doing Life Better"

Or worry.

Or spinning our wheels on things that won't matter in 10 years.

Or one year.

Or tomorrow.

Or feeling too fat to put on a swim suit and jump in the pool of life with your kids.

Until you wake up one morning and realize all your time is gone, or all your time with your child is gone. I know about loss of time.  I lost my son. I will never be able to get that time back.  Jeremy would just be starting his senior year. My time with him was snatched away. I'm not unique. We are all in the process of  "losing" our children if you think about it.

They won't always be a preschooler.

3rd grader.

9th grader.

Suddenly in a blink of an eye they are all grown up...Of course that's what the goal of parenting is after all. We want to rear them to be moral, responsible, productive community members. Yet, I can tell you first hand it stings when your child says, "Ummm. No you and dad are not going to help me move in. Parents only help freshmen and girls. You are not going with me." And then you watch your child load up their SUV and drive away for their sophomore year of college.

 And you wonder where all the time has gone...

  I don't want to live like that. I want to know where my time has gone.

On sharing greasy pizza.
Crack of dawn cross country meets.
Netflix family movie marathons.
Hiking in Gatlinburg.
Friday Night Lights.
Runs. Swims. Bikes.
Building sand castles in Orange Beach.
Homemade Meals around our table.

I want to spend my life in such a manner that at the end of my days, I will feel as if I've heeded the Psalmist's plea: "Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is." Psalm 39:4

I want to live like I believe.

How we choose (and ultimately it is your choice) to use the time we've been gifted with DOES matter. You can listen to a message I offered about TIME in relationship to parenting here--->"Losing Your Marbles" by Rev. MJ Kirby  WARNING! The beginning is rough. I had just returned from a 6 week hiatus, leading Beach Worship, and it took me a bit to get reoriented into "church" space. It's quite comical, yet many people have told me, "It really made me think." I've ran into people around town that keep saying, "This is not like me, but I shared your sermon with friends that needed to hear it." So, I guess I can just get over my uncomfortableness about the manic, disoriented nature of the beginning.

The idea behind the message is not original. I lifted the concept from Reggie Joiner, founder of Orange, over at the The Parent Cue. His book, Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, provided much fodder for the message.

Ain't nobody got "time" for that. Ok, fine. Basically the gist is this...Time is finite. You only have so much of it. When your child is born you only have 936 weeks with them until they are an adult to make a lasting impact.

Is your child 3? You have 780 weeks left.

6? 624 weeks left.

12? 312 weeks left.
15? 208 weeks left.

17? 52 weeks left. Ouch...

Time matters.

So the question becomes...What are YOU doing to make the most of the time you have been gifted? 

No comments:

Post a Comment