Breakfast of Champions: Arsenic & Grease
Quick mental tally of food intake for day: Student Prayer Breakfast at McDonald's way too early this a.m. 2 and ½ "hot cakes.” That has always really bothered me forcing the words “hot cakes” out of my mouth at the register. They are “pancakes,” not “hotcakes,”...but whatever...and a hash brown. I'm surprised I ordered a hash brown, it was just a knee-jerk reaction. A conversation between lil Eddie and I crystallized as I dipped the first hash brown bite into ketchup. While sharing some one-on-one time at IHOP earlier in the week lil Eddie happened to mention, “You know hash browns are just shredded up tater tots, and a McDonald's hash brown is just one very large, flat tater tot." As I pondered this new revelation, I added, “Well then Burger King's “hash-rounds” are just smashed tater tots.” I was amazed I'd never put together the twin factor associated between tater tots and
All this time hash browns held some elevated place in my mind above the lowly tater tot. I sincerely hope I am one of very few people that have yet to discover this connection. Somehow hash browns feel more healthy than tater tots which are actually just first cousins to fries. I wouldn't shove fries in my mouth at 6:15 a.m. in morning. And I don't think I would order tater tots either. Why does it seem different to order hash browns? They are all just greasy potatoes that I lovingly drown in ketchup.
I crowned my Breakfast of Champions with a coffee and large $1.00 unsweet tea both sweetened with powdered poison....Why do I put artificial sweetener into my body...I know anything that is that sweet and has no calories must be filled with something bad...like arsenic. At office between 8:00 and 1:00ish I snuck 3 large spoonfuls of leftover birthday cake from last night's Confirmation Journey Class. We were studying Pentecost and celebrated “our,” the church's, birthday.
So now for the big moment of decision...I'm getting a headache proving I am hungry. I do need to do the "normal" people thing and eat something. But what? “Hotcakes” and “hash browns” weren't the best choice for breakfast. Yellow cake with whipped topping certainly wasn't a good snack. If I continue this pattern, I'm going to be on sugar overload for the day, even though, ironically, instead of sugar I'm substituting poison in all my drinks. Sonic calls to me loudly as I turn onto Cedar Lake. I'm a sucker for cheese sticks and Diet Dr. Pepper with diet cherry syrup...more grease and arsenic. Is there not a better choice near by?
A Quick mental snapshot of the landscape and Smoothie King emerges. Oh, how I don't want a liquid lunch. I want greasy, cheesy sticks dunked in cheap quasi-marinara sauce and a Route 66 arsenic induced DP. Despite this overwhelming craving, something stops me. I cannot quite pinpoint what it was. Just a faint whisper of a realization that I had a choice, and that my choices in regard to food intake up to this point could have been better. Giving into my craving is what I wanted to do, and could have easily done. For me, the hardest part of choosing rightly is those brutal few seconds of skin crawling indecision. I glanced at the Sonic sign and it glowed. I pondered the Smoothie King choice and was filled with disappointment. I DID NOT want to go to Smoothie King. I wanted Sonic.
But in that split second of indecision somehow sensibility won out. It doesn't always. More times than I would like to admit, I yield to the grease and arsenic. I literally turned the mustang around and sped to Smoothie King, not looking back for fear I would change my mind and end up stretching cheese as far as it would stretch. Reluctantly I got in the Smoothie King line, ironically I already felt better about my decision. The hardest part, that torturous moment of indecision, was over. I ordered my Slim and Trim Smoothie and, yes, I am sure it has some sort of artificial sweetener as well, but at least no grease. A deep, deep place inside me smiled. I paid for my smoothie and was happy on this day, in this moment, I had made this choice. How have your moments of decision gone lately?